i am planning a wedding in January and ii have a few problems
1. my mother and father do not like each other
2. i have a step dad that has been there for all my life (since i was 2 )
3. my family is very big
i do not know how too handle this / i do not know how to work it between my mum nad dad and i do not know how i should ask to walk me down the ilse (sorry do not know how to spell that well) should i ask my step dad who has been there for me all my life or my biological dad ??
should i put my mum on one side of the place and my real dad on te other side ??
really stuck need some major help x
any advice will be very helpful x
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1. my mother and father do not like each other
2. i have a step dad that has been there for all my life (since i was 2 )
3. my family is very big
i do not know how too handle this / i do not know how to work it between my mum nad dad and i do not know how i should ask to walk me down the ilse (sorry do not know how to spell that well) should i ask my step dad who has been there for me all my life or my biological dad ??
should i put my mum on one side of the place and my real dad on te other side ??
really stuck need some major help x
any advice will be very helpful x
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Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Most definitely your step dad should have the honor of walking you down the aisle.
The other guy is your bio dad. He's nothing more than the sperm donor.
It's best to keep you mom and your bio dad on opposite sides of the room.
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It also depends on the relationship you had with your dad, if he has been trying hard to be there for you and couldn't make it for some reason, i think you owe the old man. But if he neglected you....your step dad is the way to go.
About your parents not getting along, you have to sit with them and tell them that they have to get along on that day, for you...they should even pretend if possible, its supposed to be the best day of your life and they should respect it.
From : http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100430082433AA6rbK0
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Your step dad should walk you down the aisle. He was the one there for you since you were a toddler. He gets the glory. Or, just to be safe, you could start out with your bio dad and after 10 feet or so, you step dad is waiting to take over. Just like in real life! I think your dad & mom will both behave themselves. In case, you could assign a male cousin to escort your dad out should a problem arise. This is your day and they are all going to support you and let petty stuff lie. Don't worry!
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if it will cause issues to both men (biological and step father), would you consider asking your mum to walk you? or if you choose, how hurt would your biological father be if you chose your step-dad? (also, would it cause an issue with your mum depending on your choice?)
it's really up to you; make the best choice for you, and explain it to anyone else who might be affected
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there are a number of things you can do.
first of all, concerning who to ask to walk you down the aisle: it depends upon what kind of relationship you have with both of these men and upon who is paying for this wedding. if your natural father is paying, then you have a bigger problem. but if your stepfather is paying...then no problem, ask him. if you do not have much of a personal relationship with your biological father, but you have a good one with your step father, your biological father is most likely not expecting you to ask him to walk you down the aisle so you can ask your stepfather if you wish.
you can also ask them both to escort you down the aisle if you wish to or you can have neither of them and walk by yourself while they sit in the congregation.
as for seating them, your step father will be seated with your mother on the first pew or row. your natural father can be seated on the 2nd or even 3rd pew or row but must be on the bride's side and still included in the famliy rows. you do not have to include him in the receiving line if you don't wish to.
at the reception, seat him with more distant family....not at the immediate family table. he will have to accept that being divorced carries with it a great deal of severing in families and that these are things people need to face when they have made a descision to break up their families.
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I have the same problem with my family not getting along, (if you were to get em all together you would swear your at a boxing match -haha ) so for my wedding I'm telling everyone this is my day, they are there to support me and leave the drama at the door. more than likely they will respect you enough to keep their mouths shut for a few hours lol :)
And with the whole who should walk you down the isle, well that one is kinda your call. it all depends on how close you are to each of them. but I would say I would ask the one that has always been there for you no matter what. but that's my view. hope it helps out :) good luck!
The other guy is your bio dad. He's nothing more than the sperm donor.
It's best to keep you mom and your bio dad on opposite sides of the room.
=================
It also depends on the relationship you had with your dad, if he has been trying hard to be there for you and couldn't make it for some reason, i think you owe the old man. But if he neglected you....your step dad is the way to go.
About your parents not getting along, you have to sit with them and tell them that they have to get along on that day, for you...they should even pretend if possible, its supposed to be the best day of your life and they should respect it.
From : http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100430082433AA6rbK0
=================
Your step dad should walk you down the aisle. He was the one there for you since you were a toddler. He gets the glory. Or, just to be safe, you could start out with your bio dad and after 10 feet or so, you step dad is waiting to take over. Just like in real life! I think your dad & mom will both behave themselves. In case, you could assign a male cousin to escort your dad out should a problem arise. This is your day and they are all going to support you and let petty stuff lie. Don't worry!
=================
if it will cause issues to both men (biological and step father), would you consider asking your mum to walk you? or if you choose, how hurt would your biological father be if you chose your step-dad? (also, would it cause an issue with your mum depending on your choice?)
it's really up to you; make the best choice for you, and explain it to anyone else who might be affected
=================
there are a number of things you can do.
first of all, concerning who to ask to walk you down the aisle: it depends upon what kind of relationship you have with both of these men and upon who is paying for this wedding. if your natural father is paying, then you have a bigger problem. but if your stepfather is paying...then no problem, ask him. if you do not have much of a personal relationship with your biological father, but you have a good one with your step father, your biological father is most likely not expecting you to ask him to walk you down the aisle so you can ask your stepfather if you wish.
you can also ask them both to escort you down the aisle if you wish to or you can have neither of them and walk by yourself while they sit in the congregation.
as for seating them, your step father will be seated with your mother on the first pew or row. your natural father can be seated on the 2nd or even 3rd pew or row but must be on the bride's side and still included in the famliy rows. you do not have to include him in the receiving line if you don't wish to.
at the reception, seat him with more distant family....not at the immediate family table. he will have to accept that being divorced carries with it a great deal of severing in families and that these are things people need to face when they have made a descision to break up their families.
=================
I have the same problem with my family not getting along, (if you were to get em all together you would swear your at a boxing match -haha ) so for my wedding I'm telling everyone this is my day, they are there to support me and leave the drama at the door. more than likely they will respect you enough to keep their mouths shut for a few hours lol :)
And with the whole who should walk you down the isle, well that one is kinda your call. it all depends on how close you are to each of them. but I would say I would ask the one that has always been there for you no matter what. but that's my view. hope it helps out :) good luck!
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